Everything seemed to be happening so fast now. Her mother and father went off to fight a war. They came back, but once they did, Thane was nowhere to be found. Kida had searched the whole pack clearing for him, but she never could find him. She wandered high and low, looking through fallen logs, behind large trees, and even in the thick of the forest. Where was her big brother? Where had he gone? She howled out to the world to seek him. She called and called, but there was no answer. In her desperation, she headed for the borders of their home lands. In the next season she would be one year old, and she knew the laws of crossing into neutral lands. It was forbidden. So she did not cross the barrier between her safety and dangerous unknown lands. She moved quickly on gentle paws until she found herself near a large body of water. She could smell it, but mostly she heard it. Even in winter, the water was still washing up and down the shore. It swept away the snow, pulling it back and pushing it up. The small wolf looked to the world around her. What was she to do? Where was her beloved Thane? Saddened at the fact she could not find him, she released a sorrowed howl. Between her breaths, she panted, seeing the cold air form from her maw. She whined and howled and whined and howled, not wishing to stop until she could do it no longer.

Nnlya and Drogo had both returned from the war with no more than a few wounds that would heal up quite quickly. A true blessing that could not be said for everyone. Seeing his darling pups enter the clearing when they had returned had washed away all worry that he held, but it was short lived when Thane was no where to be found. Drogo thought that perhaps he was still in the Autay's den, but he had not been there either. So where was their son? He had tried to tell Kida and Levi not to worry, but Kida being the devoted adoring little sister she was, would not rest until he was found. Drogo himself had been out scouring the lands when he heard the soft whimpering and howling of his daughter. Shifting his direction, he headed straight for her knowing this was as hard on her as it was on the rest of them. His lithe form trotted over the crisp winter ground with a slight hitch in his step from the still healing wound on his hip. It was nothing that would affect him for long, but for the time being it was ever so slightly bothersome. Steady breaths sent plums of crystalline smoke into the air before him. He forced his ears flat against his skull to protect them from the bite on the breeze. He was still not fully used to the cold winters that these lands had to offer, but it was far easier this time around than it had been the winters before.

Flaming copper eyes finally found the source of the sorrow filled whimpers and howls and the Guardian sighed. He hated to see his little Kida in such a way. He had only ever wished to protect them from all the horrors of the world so they may only know kindness and happiness, but it would seem he had failed in that as well. "Kida my sweet girl.." he began and padded up next to her, nuzzling her cheek with his own though saying no more. He knew that sometimes words were not needed, and sometimes they were not sought, so he simply rested his head upon hers in comfort. "We will find him Kida. I promise." he whispered not letting any sign of his own uncertainty show through his voice.

Nnlya had howled for Rose that day in the clearing, but not with joy or excitement. Azul had been wrong to ask them to be excited on such a sorrowful day. She howled for those they had lost, her friends, her packmates. The Alphess had been her friend and she worried for their children. The Beta male had welcomed her and become a close friend as well. His mate, the Beta female, had been captured to her shame. Others she'd met maybe once, enough to put a face to a name, enough for it to hurt when they were lost. But she was also scared she had lost a part of herself. Two lives had ended on that battlefield because of her actions. She had taken it upon herself to be their judge, jury and executioner. It didn't seem right. How her two pups had even bared to show her affection when she was covered in the blood and gore of other wolves - dead wolves - she couldn't understand. She'd deserved every would she'd collected and much more in her opinion. The pain in her left shoulder and right foreleg were justified. Compensation in some small part for the lives she'd taken.

Her wounds were now beginning to heal but she had more reason to fear. Her son Thane had not shown himself when the meeting was called and was still yet to be found. She feared the worst and was often kept up at night in worry. Already she had begun to comb the forest to find him but nothing had come of it. She still held a desperate hope that he was perhaps just lost, holed up in a cave in the neutral lands. She clung to that hope with everything she had. It was all she could to to pull herself along every morning. Two friends were lost to her already, to lose her son would be unbearable. Even now she trotted through the towering drifts of snow, the icy wind carrying the sounds of her young daughters whines and howls. The sounds broke her heart and she wanted nothing more than to comfort her little one, even at the cost of Nnlya's own wellbeing. Her quickened pace brought her face to face with her mate and child in the freezing cold. She shared a look with Drogo, her only indication of fear in her eyes before she lowered herself to her daughters height. Nuzzling little Kida, she murmured, "Come darling, we must be strong. Thane is out there, we will find him and bring him home. And the two of you and Levi can chase each other all around the territory. Hmm? How does that sound?" She kept her voice light and kind, shining with optimism despite the dark clouds whirling inside.

It had not been long before her father came running to her side. She always knew that if she ever needed anything, daddy would always be there. She felt the comfort in his form as he pressed against hers. She nuzzled her face into his fur, taking in his scent as she tried to relax her worried little heart. It would not be an easy task, and she did not know what to think of Thane's disappearance. Was he gone forever? "But father..." she whimpered as she tried to speak pout from his coat. "What if we never do find Thane? Do you think he wanted to go to that stupid mean pack because I bothered him too much?" The thought of it being Kida's fault for Thane to leave was enough to break her little heart. No matter what her parents told her, Kida would always blame herself before anyone else. Not much longer after that, Nnlya had arrived. "Mother!" She cried out as she was greeted by the Elite in a comforting and caring manner. Her parents didn't have to say anything, she could sense the worry within them. "It sounds..." she muttered as she tried to think of herself chasing Thane and Levi around the pack. Of what fun it would be, and the big smile she would have upon her maw. Her little paws would try to keep up with their much bigger ones. But she would never catch them. She moved to nuzzle her face in her mother's coat, and being so close to the both of them, she realized that she had almost lost them as well. Dried blood had plastered itself to their fur, not only theirs, but other wolves as well. Had they killed something that killed Thane? Or was it all from the war? Why their parents had to kill anything other than food, baffled her. This was not the big meanie pack, no, this was Helidos. A place where hopes and dreams did come true. After all, the new Alphess was only a Guardian a mere few days ago. Anything was possible. Right as Kida was starting to feel secure with her family, Levi arrived and he started to speak unto the words she was thinking in her heart. What if Thane never returned? What would their family do? But soon Levi turned his attention to Kida. He promised her she would never have to miss him. "I will protect you too Levi... and when I get big enough, I will heal you also. Someday I will heal all of us, the best that I can.." She looked to her family, hoping that this would bring them closer than they ever were, and when they did find Thane, she hoped her father would really punish him for hurting their hearts so much.

Drogo shook his head hearing the tormented thoughts of his little girl. How could she possibly think that anything she could have done would drive Thane to run away from them? He had to bite his tongue to keep from blurting out how ridiculous of a thought it was, and instead nuzzled into her more so. "Kida please do not think like that. Nothing you could have possibly done would make Thane run away. You know how much he loves you, he would never leave you on purpose so please my sweet sweet girl. Do not trouble your mind with such things." he cooed in a tone he had only discovered upon the birth of his young. He had never known himself capable of the love and compassion and undying urge to protect and care for others until Nnlya and now their pups. Every rational bone in his body screamed out that Thane was gone. There was no way a pup of his age could survive out on his own without a pack, without help.

His eyes found Nnlya's for a brief moment as she moved towards them, knowing very well the worry that consumed her mind as well. No words need be shared between them for the Guardian to know that her thoughts were the same as his own. He would need to speak with her once the pups were sleeping, or otherwise preoccupied. He did not wish to fear the worst, but he was no fool to think that death had not already taken his son from him. A small glimmer of hope twinkled in his eyes as he listened to Kida and Levi vow to protect each other. He wished that he had been granted such a bond with his own littermates, but he could not change that now. All he could do was ensure the very best for his own offspring. Forcing a hint of a smile across his maw, he nipped at Levi's tail ever so gently and pushed himself up to his paws, letting his tail wave above his back and stretching his forelegs outward, lowering his front half to the ground in a playful manner. "Come now children. You'll have to be quick to protect each other. Let's see just how fast you are." he taunted hoping to get their minds off of the less than pleasant reality that faced their family.

Nnlya sat up beside her mate and daughter, a weak but impenetrable smile upon her face. She feared for Thane, but wouldn't allow Kida to see it. She leaned lightly against her mates side, closing her eyes for the briefest of moments as she allowed herself to seek some small comfort from him. They would have to talk soon, when the pups were sleeping. They had to find out the truth about Thane, but she also had to be honest with him. She had once promised him she would never kill if she could help it and yet she'd ended the lives of two Erenyx faes. It was war, but she felt awful, knowing she hadn't bothered to find another way. She could have offered them sanctuary, away from Teren. Anything. It would be a hard discussion, but a necessary one. She heard the sounds of another approaching and sat up straight, seeing her son Levi. He came close, showing some small affection for his father before settling himself between her forelegs. She leaned down and nibbled on his scruff, giving a gentle nuzzle. "Do not fret, Levi. We will find out what happened to Thane, I promise you that." She couldn't lie to him, but she couldn't outright tell him that his brother was likely dead. "And no matter what, we will remain strong, as a family. We will all take care of each other." Despite the circumstances that brought them there, she liked them sitting together like this, as a family. All they needed was young Thane between them and they would be complete.

Her daughter moved to nuzzle into her chest, but there was still a patch of dried blood there she must have missed. Nnlya stiffened, afraid her daughter would pull away. She did not wish to disappoint her children, not when she couldn't explain to them why she had done what she had done. They wouldn't understand. She smiled as her children vowed to protect one another. It warmed her heart to see how much they cared for one another. She looked over at Drogo and she knew he must be feeling so alone, having never really known his siblings. It made her miss her own brothers. Onyx she would never see again, but her younger brothers she wished she could see again, to know how they had grown up well, ask them how things were back home. And she smiled even wider when he encouraged them to play. She remembered how afraid he'd been to play, that day so long ago when she'd lost him. How easily it came to him. She leant down and nudged her daughter's rump. Leaping away she landed facing them and lowered her body into a bow, tail wagging high in the air with a wicked grin spreading across her face.

Whatever words they wanted to say, whatever they tried to do to make things better, it would never be the same. In her mind, Kida knew her brother was dead. He would never be gone this long. But in her heart, she wanted to believe that he was still out there, hopefully living a new life with a new pack. She wanted the best for her family and although she didn't really know what all to do in front of others.. or how, she would even show it. She tried to smile. She really did. She was unsure if the emotion would appear on her maw. But she really was trying. She stood up, looking to both of her parents, still trying to be happy. She looked to Levi, watching him bow and boister out that he would beat them all. "You wish..." she spoke as she rushed off into the horizon. She pushed her little paws deep into the snow and sand. She forced herself to run faster than she ever had before. The pain swelled up in her heart, forcing the adrenaline to rush through her veins. She didn't know where she was running to, but she knew there would be no sign of slowing anytime soon.

- bump for Drogo -