Subject: They lurk within the Shadows [Breeze,Desmond] March 1st 2016, 15:14
*This thread contains suicidal thoughts and material, if you're touchy on the subject you have been warned.*
Hollow eyes, hollow soul, hollow body....nothingness. He had fallen into a weird state of depression, breath puffing slowly from his maw as his tired heart tried desperately to keep this body alive without the support of the mind. Spring had arrived and around him there was just new life and growth everywhere, but he couldn't feel more dead. But maybe death was actually a more comforting thought than where he was right now. It's like he'd gotten stuck somewhere between reality and a scary, dark shadowy place in his mind and even though he tried desperately to scrabble back to the surface- icy claws dragged him back into the shadows. But he was too tired to keep going, he was giving up. What did it matter anyway? He had screwed up, made faults that would forever ruin his life and he no longer had the ability to long for a fresh start. He didn't deserve such a thing. He was only three, should just be getting excited at the prospect of starting a new family of his own but all he wanted was to curl up and die. Die, die, die....Suicidal thoughts tended to control the one functioning part of his mind as much as he tried to ignore them. He was so fed up, he just wanted to finish this life. Maybe it was the coward's way out but he honestly could no longer care, he'd destroyed anything that had meant anything to him. He was sick of living like this. He couldn't help but feel bitter towards his dead parents as much as he hated himself for it. They let love get in the way, he'd thought their love was strong enough to have made it that he would still be a decent wolf for despite having mixed bloods- both these bloods were filled with love. But he'd been wrong, he was a dirty mutt and because of that he couldn't stay loyal to a singular pack and destroyed all connections with anyone.
His breath was slow and heavy as he continued forward, where even was he? He tried to focus on his surroundings but his gaze kept swimming and black dots seemed to crowd his vision every time he tried to focus on something. He was skinny and unhealthy looking, fur loose and ragged and failing to hide the scars it used to conceal so well. He'd gone off eating and now that he'd gotten over the hunger, the smell of fresh meat just made him want to puke. He did force himself to gulp down a few morsels everyday...or maybe every second day he'd lost track of time but it was just enough to keep him alive as starving himself to death wasn't going to work if he was trying to find a way out. That was too slow, he wanted something quick and sharp to end this pitiful story. Never had he actually believed he'd crave such a thing as death and it spooked him. He'd always been optimistic, always believed that there'd be light at the end of the corridor. You're going through a tough time yes but one day you'll look back and it'll all be far away and you'll be happy and relieved you kept going. But no one prepared him for just how hard this period of time would be. Plus would he ever be happy again really? If his dirty blood really did cause this then it would just happen over and over again, he wanted to be gone. He liked sleeping a lot recently, it was the only time he was ever truly free from the thoughts that plagued him. Death was just that eternally, it didn't really sound so bad anymore. It was just the dying part that scared him, what if it hurt really bad? What if he tried to end himself and failed and just ended up a mangled mess in complete agony. A nervous shudder rippled through him.
His only hope was Breeze, maybe he could find her...maybe she'd help him get away from this scary place. But he had stayed far away from Agavos because here was him being a coward again, scared of the reaction he'd get and how if it were to be bad...it'd tip him over. They'd kill him either physically or mentally and they were just as bad as the other for it both ended up with him gone. But maybe that wasn't bad, maybe that was good? A groan of confusion escaped him, the only sound to be heard from him in a long time. Quinn had died when he'd been all happy in Agavos, controlled by guilt he'd gone back to Helidos to help Rose to say sorry to Quinn. He'd let her die..he'd been in the same pack and everything yet he hadn't been there to save her. His second chance granted by her, gone, dead. He had no one else to go seeking chances from. He was all out. He was over.
A faint sound reached his ears, running water. It was a splashing sound he realized as he neared, waterfall? His surroundings were still blurry and unfocused but he knew he was no longer in Helidos' territory but in the Neutral lands. He felt safer here, here he could just disappear and no one would ever know what happened. That was both a mixture of depressing and relieving to him. Finally cool water lapped at his creamy paws. Maybe he could just keep walking. He took a few more steps until it lapped hungrily at his shoulders. Just keep walking and it'd swallow him up completely, he'd be gone forever. It was so tempting yet fear of the unknown held him rooted to the spot. What if death wasn't what it was made out to be? What if what waited for him over there was worse than here but there was no escaping it? It was there he stayed standing in the cool waters, body going numb and he could almost swear it was beginning to rain lightly- a drizzle misting his coat but he couldn't be certain. Nothing made any sense anymore.
"speech" | mind... | actions
| Death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit |
TAG | WORDS | Desmond can join in after Twelve and Breeze have exchanged a few posts!
Posts : 247 Join date : 2015-04-19 Age : 28 Location : wherever I want to be
Wolf Information Gender: Female Age: 4 Purchases: Second Character (Thunder), Third Character
Subject: Re: They lurk within the Shadows [Breeze,Desmond] March 2nd 2016, 01:41
Agavos
Delta
3 years old
tough
spirited
Lyrics or something about Breeze goes here.
NOTES: Oh poor Twelve…I wish Breeze could forgive him. THANKS TO DESOTO FOR THE IMAGE ON THIS TABLE!!
She walks. "She talks." She thinks.
Breeze was making efforts to keep herself calm and hold her anger within. The muscular fae let it slowly simmer within her mind, knowing that was the best place for it for now. She knew better than to deny that he could have abandoned Agavos after finding his scent near the border of Helidos on a recent quest. It had been very faint, but the familiar smell had been unmistakable around the border. She hadn’t found any other evidence, but she planned to find Desmond later today and alert him of her discovery. He would be furious of course, and he had every right to be. The scent she had found had been unmistakably mixed with the aroma of distress…or so she suspected. Such a faint bit of evidence left many things unclear, except that he had not simply become the victim of some horrible accident or fight. Yet perhaps he had been captured…no. Only his scent lead to the border, and why else would he purposely head for another pack’s lands? A soft growl rumbled in her chest as she stalked through the neutral lands, tail curled high to signal to any wolf who might appear that she was in no mood to be messed with. Frustration was clear within her golden amber orbs as she moved easily among the dense undergrowth of the forest. A packmate she had so readily trusted and attempted to befriend had chosen to abandon her and the rest of Agavos. How could he just leave behind the place that accepted him with open arms? Twelve had told the delta that he was more comfortable in Agavos than in….wait! He originally came from Helidos. Could he have been lying all this time? Was he a spy? What if he never actually had any interest in Agavos? Breeze wondered suddenly, her paws suddenly rooted to the ground. It felt like icy water had seeped down her spine and froze her fur. Silently, the fae stood where she was as the spark of rage was ignited within her heart. How dare he treat my pack in such a way! The grey pelted she-wolf thought.
Amber orbs darkened dangerously and she broke into a brisk trot, determined to talk to Desmond and then set out to find the traitor. She was just approaching the familiar Falls of Serenity when something else made her skid to a stop once more. There, along a small trail that wove through the forest, was the fresh scent of her target. Twelve was here somewhere. The delta couldn’t believe her luck. Here was the very wolf she needed to confront. Immediately, her mind made a choice. It was either tell Desmond and miss her chance now, or face the foolish brute and possibly drag him back to Desmond. If it came down to a fight, she would do what she must. Desmond had every right to face this wolf, and it was her job to see to it that this happened. Swiftly and as silently as possible, the muscular female leapt from among the verdure, sprinting out into the open space and standing tall. In a matter of seconds Breeze was standing on the shore, her tail raised dominantly as she gazed at where the male stood motionless within the water. Her mind took into account his ragged appearance. Even with most of his form submerged, it was clear he wasn’t doing so well. Some small part of her felt concern for this brute even as she tried to suppress it. He had always seemed a bit of a mess beneath the cool and calm facade. Still, that didn’t excuse him from the disgust and anger she felt at his choice to leave Agavos. The she-wolf mentally shoved away her concern and desperate wish to make this event disappear. It was crutial for her to find out what he had been up to, and there was no way of denying what he had done. Much to her disgust, she could detect the aroma of Helidos on his pelt from where she stood at the edge of the water. "Well well well, look what we have here. Where have you been Twelve? Certainly nowhere near the lands of Agavos.” She called, her voice devoid of friendliness or much emotion. Instead, her gaze bore down on him, curious yet harsh. This was no time for pleasantries so she had gotten straight to the point. Let’s see what he has to say to me about how much he likes my pack now! What lame excuse does he have to give me? Breeze wondered as she stared him down.
Subject: Re: They lurk within the Shadows [Breeze,Desmond] March 2nd 2016, 13:01
*This thread contains suicidal thoughts and material, if you're touchy on the subject you have been warned.*
He seemed to have fallen into some sort of trance, mesmerized by the cool water that lapped at his shoulders. It was so calm and gentle here although he could feel the spray from where the much rougher water hit this tranquil pool. But even this calm lapping had a hunger within it as it tugged hopefully at the ends of his fur. Maybe he could let it have him, do something good for something. Even if it was just satisfying this water's urge to take a life. It amused him how water was such a vital thing to the survival of all creatures yet it also killed mercilessly. He took another shaky step forward, water lapping further up his body as it reached for him with what he'd imagine as open arms. His limbs shook with exhaustion and he just wanted to sleep. He could just lie down, take a nap in the waters- a nap that would teleport him to another land. Maybe it would be better, maybe it would be worse. How would one truly ever know until the deed had been done? But something seemed to distract part of his mind and he tried to shift it back to the waters but it wouldn't work. He felt so far from his senses yet still they continued to work for him. It made him sad. But what was it that was trying to drag him from this task. Was that a noise? A scent seemed to envelop him, a painfully familiar scent and he frowned. Well at least he frowned mentally, he had no idea what that did physically. A voice echoed through his mind, trying to penetrate the thick fog blocking the connection between mind and senses. Her voice. He needed to move, the water was still tugging at him and he could swear the tugs were stronger and more desperate as if trying to call him back. But Breeze was here, somehow she'd found him. This was both relieving and terrifying.
He forced his paws to carry him in a slow circle so that his back was to the falls and this empty gaze rested on the figure standing on the grassy bank. His eyes were what had probably changed the most. The once, bright fiery amber gaze that always had a content sparkle to them had completely died. They were dull and dead and looking into them was just like looking into the eyes of a dead wolf, it looked like no one was home. He supposed it was quite fitting really, if the eyes truly were the window to the soul then it made perfect sense. Wether he went through with the deed of ending himself or not, he was dying inside already anyway. Rotting away from the inside. He didn't have the energy to even know how he should reply to such a realization. He squinted at the blurry image of the wolf standing before him, trying to make sense of the form. He was pretty sure it was Breeze but her image kept flickering and the scents seemed odd and warped. Frustration pricked at him and it was oddly satisfying to feel a real emotion stir within him. He wanted to see her properly for it may be for the last time. Finally he felt some of the thick fog lessen, but with that came a price. Pains shot through his exhausted limbs and his stomach seemed to be caving in on itself from the unhealthy eating habits he'd gained. A soft moan of confusion escaped him as all these pains came rushing back but the worse ones were the ones from his mind. No wonder he'd tried to escape it all by numbing himself so much he was forced to the back of his mind. He didn't like it out here in the real world. It was Breeze, still fuzzy at the edges but definitely Breeze. Angry Breeze, very angry Breeze...worry flickered within him. He didn't want a fight. But she had all rights to be mad didn't she...he was a bad bad wolf. Her words took ages to reach his mind and make any sense so he simply stared forward with a vacant gaze, maybe slight confusion trickling in but that was all he could muster.
He tried to make sense of her body posture and tone. Unhappy..angry...emotionless...of course. He felt like he'd been hit on the side of the head with a heavy object as he struggled to function properly. This was even worse than usual, was he having some sort of break down? It'd make sense maybe, he had literally just been about to end his own life. That was a big thing. He swallowed uncertainly, throat feeling tight and dry as finally he made sense of what she said. Predictable. At least he could tell that much. She was annoyed over him leaving Agavos. Of course she was. Of course she bloody was. He needed to speak, couldn't just stand almost neck deep in water staring at her silently. His focus was getting slightly better as he tried to push more energy into his body but it was slowing him down mentally having to juggle senses too. He could see her a bit better again and cleared his throat hesitantly. "No....no-t Agav-os" He mumbled hoarsely, voice a bit jerky in places. He hadn't spoken aloud since he'd found out Rose was dead. "Quinn...had to help her...failed, failed with Rose..failed with Desmond. Failed." He stated it simply, it wasn't a 'self-pitying' statement, it was the facts. He'd failed them. There was no other way to go about it. "I'm leaving soon though" He echoed quietly, gaze not resting on her but the trees beyond her. It was almost as if he wasn't talking to her at all. He seemed so vacant and lost but he suddenly felt surer than ever. He wanted to go, he would go. The fact he'd made a decision no matter how severe it was, was comforting. "I'm just tired, so the remedy is sleep, The more tired you are the more sleep you need so I will give myself the amount I need." There was a message twisted in there and whether she got it or not depended on how deep she'd search for the meaning. He was speaking of eternal sleep, death wanted him. It was hunting him to rejoin his family where they belonged away from packlife where they could break fragile bonds.
He had been speaking aloud but not properly focusing on Breeze, it was only now that he fixed his gaze on her and he was surprised to feel nothing when staring at her. However he knew it was only temporary, he could feel pain, sadness and a tang of bitterness swirling far below and it wouldn't be long until they'd make an appearance. For now he seemed to float above all that, not really there anymore. It was kind of nice. He stared in silence, pretty sure his broken sentences weren't the satisfactory answers she'd been craving but not knowing how to care or make them any better. All he could do was stand there in complete silence and watch her reaction to what he said. He blinked his empty gaze as it continued to rest on her as he took a few shaky steps forward until the water only covered his ankles. He wasn't going to depart just yet.
"speech" | mind... | actions
| Death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit |
@DeltaBreeze | WORDS | By the way I'll pop down here when Des can join in, just want to keep it to 12 and Breeze for a little longer.
Posts : 247 Join date : 2015-04-19 Age : 28 Location : wherever I want to be
Wolf Information Gender: Female Age: 4 Purchases: Second Character (Thunder), Third Character
Subject: Re: They lurk within the Shadows [Breeze,Desmond] March 5th 2016, 23:14
Agavos
Delta
3 years old
tough
spirited
Lyrics or something about Breeze goes here.
NOTES: Oh my gosh this is so long. I'm so sorry Tunny! …I dunno when you were planning on having Dessy jump in but any time is cool with me. Let me know if I have anything errors to fix. I was super tired when I proof read this! xD THANKS TO DESOTO FOR THE IMAGE ON THIS TABLE!!
She walks. "She talks." She thinks.
Much to her annoyance, the brute didn’t respond or even appear to acknowledge her presence for awhile. He remained facing the falls, unmoving, like he was simply a natural landmark and not a living creature. The fur on the fae’s neck began to spike with anger and alarm. What was wrong with him? The sight of the brown male standing there made her suddenly wary of him. Could he have lost his sanity? “Face me Twelve!” The Delta snarled with tail curled high. Then he slowly turned around. Much to her shock, his eyes appeared dull, almost akin to that of the dead. He squinted, almost as if he couldn’t see. What the heck is wrong with him? Is he sick? Breeze wondered. The grey female was torn between her annoyance, disgust, and concern for him. She was no heartless demon, although she was far from soft. He seemed weak, unhealthy, and rather shaky. The she-wolf looked on, concern mixing with her annoyance as her gaze softened slightly, although the female was now definitely wary. Even the best of wolves could loose their minds and the dusty grey canid had no way to tell if that had happened to Twelve, at least not yet. A soft moan escaped the male’s jaws and she could see faint tremors in his body. Clearly the brute wasn’t doing well, but she didn’t dare step closer. No, she stayed where she was and simply frowned. “Don’t you have anything to say to me?" The Agavos fae asked quietly. Then he spoke. At first, the Delta wanted to roll her eyes. Well no duh he hadn’t been in Agavos. She had just said that hadn’t she? Golden amber orbs soon widened, then narrowed as he continued in a broken, rough voice. She had heard of the Helidos leader of course…and according to Desmond she had died at the jaws of Teren. Failed. He had failed how? Did this brute seriously think he was to blame for the Alphess’ death? Nonsense. He wasn’t even in their pack at the time!….OHHHHH! Suddenly the realization dawned on her. That was why he had left. It was a twisted and dumb reason to say the least, but that had to have been it. His loyalties should not have been to Helidos. He had been a part of Agavos, and that was where his loyalty should have been. The fae stepped forward, feeling pity for the mess of a wolf before her. “Oh Twelve…you don’t seriously think you could have stopped Teren do you? Not even the high ranks or the Alpha of Helidos could have stopped that beast.” Breeze said softly.
Then, almost as if somebody had lit a fuse or flipped some sort of switch, her expression became stern, disapproving, and annoyed. Disappointment washed over her like a typhoon. The Delta had thought Twelve to be stronger than this. She had thought of him as a dependable friend…and here she was, watching him fall apart…she almost felt like she was talking to some pup having a meltdown and complaining about his life. “It wasn’t your job to support Helidos anymore. Agavos was your home…and you thought just because one wolf died that you had to leave? You are not their savior Twelve. Wolves died in more than one pack this season and I don’t see any concern from you on that matter except for a few. Only one of those being from Agavos and he is not even one who died. Did you even know that others had died? Or was that not an issue for you?” She added, the bitterness in her voice building the more she spoke. The she-wolf glanced down at her paws in frustration. When she looked back up, the brute would be able to see the twin flames of rage and resentment burning within her amber orbs. “Could I have saved my parents when rogues attacked my birth pack? No. I tried, but in the end I watched as they were murdered. Do you see me giving up and wallowing in that sadness I felt or the fact that I couldn’t have done more? Heck no! I know that I did what I could, and that was all they ever wanted from me. I can not save every wolf and neither can you. The best thing we can do is try to help our packmates as many as possible. Yet that doesn’t mean you should run around back and forth between packs. There are wolves who help each other in every pack, so choose where you want to contribute and stick with it. I thought you had decided that you chose Agavos when you joined our ranks. I thought you would surely be a strong and dependable packmate. Apparently I was wrong. I guess you never really cared for Agavos. You didn’t just fail Desmond. You failed me, you failed Fel, and you failed Desoto. In fact, you failed every wolf in Agavos and you let us down. For what? All for a dead wolf who had already passed away by no fault of yours.” Breeze said, her anger evident in her quiet icy tone. The last words were cold and bitter as she spoke, her voice barely even raising. The hurt of being left by so many wolves she knew in this world had made her resentful to see Twelve standing before her, alive and rather…indifferent. To see this frail brute complaining about his life right here in front of her only made the fire of rage blaze even brighter within her heart. It was just like hearing him complain before, about… Suddenly, something clicked in her mind. “Don’t you dare blame it on your past either! Is this what this is about Twelve? Just because you aren’t so-called 'pure in blood' - which is nonsense by the way - doesn’t mean you are disloyal. It’s your choices and your own thoughts that make you loyal or disloyal. I knew wolves who had one parent that lived in another pack. It wasn’t easy for them to be accepted, and it took the Alphas awhile to forgive the family, but in the end they weren’t really different. They were some of the most trustworthy packmates I had. You are letting your past and your origins choose who you are. That is sad, and I thought you were better than that.” The grey female said with a mixture of anger and sadness.
She did not move except to tilt her head in confusion as he mentioned leaving. Where would he go? Then his next words began to sink in. His poor health and his pathetic complaining, the lack of light within his orbs, and the negativity that radiated off of the earthen colored brute all made sense. He wanted to go to the other forest. A shocked growl rumbled in the fan’s throat. “Are you joking? You give up over the death of a couple of wolves just because you blame yourself? What kind of warrior…what kind of wolf just gives up that easily? That should teach you to enjoy the moments you have with your packmates, not waste your time whining and sulking over what could have been. It can be harsh in this world, but that doesn’t mean every moment has to be spent being so negative and hopeless. You disappoint me. I have seen the death of most of my birth pack, the death of others this winter, but ya know what? I like to think they die to give me and those who live to see another day the chance to improve, and to enjoy life. I often wish they didn’t have to die, but that is the way life works. You just have to move on. Yet here you are, sniveling and whining…it’s pathetic.” She said, her stern expression a mix of disbelief, disapproval, and even a bit of disgust. So this was the true wolf hiding beneath the smooth mask of a warrior. She now knew who Twelve really was, and she despised him for deceiving her this long. Any more whining from him would just go in one dark grey ear and out the other.
Last edited by Delta Breeze on April 2nd 2016, 07:03; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Just had to copy the code for my table since I'm on mobile :))
Alpha Desmond Site Owner
Posts : 340 Join date : 2014-12-19
Wolf Information Gender: Male Age: 5 Years Old Purchases: Large Wolf | Rogue
Subject: Re: They lurk within the Shadows [Breeze,Desmond] March 14th 2016, 06:36
the rogue king
I never expected to find myself here, but now that I am... I can't see myself being anywhere else.
Out on his patrol of the borders, Desmond was doing his Alpha duties. There had been nothing of real interest here. A couple new wolves had joined the pack, but nothing else had come to the borders. Unfortunately Desmond was not going to get a thrill this time. He walked forward more, tracing the outskirts of Agavos lands. His eyes gleamed as he looked left and right. After taking a few more steps, he came across the scent of his own Delta female. Breeze had seemed to be on the border and then left the lands. He had recalled their talk in the winter, and knew that he wanted to get closer to her, as he was with Fel. It was important for all of the high ranking wolves to be close to one another. He decided to follow the trail, chasing her scent as he picked up the speed from his paws. She had went into neutral grounds. Heading south, Desmond was drawing nearer to her. But as he was coming closer to her, he could smell another scent. It was of Agavos, but also mixed with something else. Helidos. It was not a distinct scent, as if they had been in Helidos their whole lives, but it was a mixture. It was not long before Desmond realized who it was. Twelve. Immediately, the fur along his back stood up to their tallest point. His tail arched over his spine and his eyes narrowed. He was not going to allow this to end in the way that Twelve thought it would be. He stood beside Breeze, though not resting against her. He snarled and bared his yellowed fangs.
"How did I know I would find you?" He growled and showed the most aggressive body language he could. He was mad, not just from the fact that he had trusted this wolf, but for the fact that he was going back to the pack that he deserted to begin with. After all these months of helping Twelve along his path, he was just going to return to the place that he left from. And for what reason? "I am happy that I was able to find you. It is unfortunate for Breeze to find you, since she has held you in such high regard this whole time. I even trusted you, allowed you to join our ranks without a second guess. We helped you grow, helped you develop. We have done everything to assist you, but you have taken everything for granted. You type of wolves are pitiful. In my natal pack, you would be killed on sight. You would ever be given a second chance to explain yourself or anything. Whatever Alpha allowed you back into Helidos after you betrayed them, is a fool. You are a worthless wolf, and I hope the dishonor dwells and grows inside of your heart, you worthless pile of bones!" He had never been so mad as he was right now. He could continue on, but he wanted to hear what the traitor would say or if he was going to have to attack him.
with great responsibility comes a lot of bullshit...
Subject: Re: They lurk within the Shadows [Breeze,Desmond] March 19th 2016, 15:28
They were catching up to him, these emotions. They came raining down on him in drops big enough to drown him. He wanted to run, run far far away but what difference did that make? His emotions were one with him, no matter where he went they would would follow. There was no such thing as escape. Such thoughts made him want to scream to the skies but he kept silent- simply trembling slightly. It was an agony like no other and it started from somewhere deep within his heart and travelled up through every vein in his body. A strangled whimper escaped him and his eyes rolled slightly as he stumbled forward a few steps. The water splashed against his damp fur, causing it to cling to his skinny frame and make him look frail enough to be blown away with the breeze. Breeze...His gaze found her, pain building when he watched her but unable to look away. He felt as if he was swimming through a thick swamp, trying desperately to reach the surface but failing and his lungs were filling with thick muddy water and he was slowing and dying and dying...Her voice reached out to him, words ringing with a softness that did not meet the expression she'd been wearing only moments before. He tried to focus on her, amber gaze narrowing and widening over and over again as he tried desperately to bring her form into focus. He was closer now, having splashed to the very edge of the body of still water without even meaning to. She stood a little above him on the bank but close enough so that he would only have to stretch up on his hind legs to be by her. He stayed put where he was, knowing even in his traumatized state that she was not in the most approachable mood. His head was tilted in an almost permanent confusion but he was turning more from a spooked hare to a wolf, but still no ordinary wolf. He was still lost, confused, unwell and hurting. Oh was he hurting. Emotions, who would have imagined that amount of suffering they could cause you. No physical pain could get as bad as this.
It took him a few more moments to register what each word actually meant but eventually he had it all right and was left blinking his dull orbs with what he supposed was confusion. Emotions were hard to separate at the moment though as they all seemed to be jumbled into one yowling mess that pushed at the insides of his skull, threatening to burst out with a force that would leave him dead. A shiver ran up his spine and his lip curled back. "I could've tried! But I was off lying around doing nothing in Agavos while she fought and died! I didn't want to save her for the good of Helidos I wanted to save her for the good of saving a decent wolf. What are we if we let pack lines get in the way of helping other decent souls, this whole world is a messed up place." He snarled, voice starting off hoarse and ragged but growing louder with each passing second. It wasn't Breeze he was angry at, it was just the way everything had to be. For things to have him in such a situation. Why did he have to feel so responsible to help everyone around him, wouldn't life be so much easier to be so devoted to your pack that what happened outside of it had no effect on you. It was selfish but what had become 'normal'. It sickened him, and yet by trying to do good he'd messed up everything. His anger crumbled away and if it was scientifically possible for him to cry, he would be. So instead he stood in silent pain, face scrunched up and eyes dropping to the water pooled at his paws.
She was angry again, of course she was. It seemed to be the dominating emotion amongst wolves these days and he could feel it creeping at the edges of his mind. Darkness, tempting him with strength and anger. It took a lot not to give into it, to let is wash over him and to give into this feeling of nothingness. However her next words seemed to send him tumbling into the edges of the darkness and it pulled hungrily at his paws- anger curling slightly within him. His gaze narrowed and some life came back but it was the form of an angered flame and he put his effort in extinguishing it before he became too corrupted. He would not let sorrow turn to anger. Yet that didn't mean he wouldn't voice his opinion. "You don't get it do you?" He hissed, gaze wide and wild with an unpredictable look that was almost scary. "I don't care what pack she was in. She's still a damn wolf and has as much rights to life as any of us! I don't care if she's Helidos and I'm Agavos, she died and I couldn't help her! We've all become such brain dead fools that we accept this pack nature without even questioning why? Why must boundaries separate us all, I know that different personalities form different groups. I'm not against packs in general but what is up with this 'loyalty' bullshit! I am loyal to wolves, good wolves that deserve it. I refuse to select one singular group and look out for them only, not caring about what happens to anyone else. How can you do that? And do you not think I would've tried to save everyone I could've, of course a wolf dies every day. I may be slightly messed right now but I'm not stupid! I would've saved them if I could...none should have to die before they're old and had a full life. Except Teren maybe, I don't even know if he can be counted as a wolf anymore. I would save every wolf if I could but it's not damn possible, Quinn maybe affected me more because I knew and cared about her!" He wanted to keep ranting but Breeze wasn't finished and he fell into a strained silence, breathing labored from the energy that even speaking alone was now costing him.
Her words stung, there was no denying that but she was just telling him things he already knew so what was the point in reacting. His eyes were duller now, fight dying out of him. "Oh don't play dumb. Of course I cared for Agavos, I cared for you. I care for you. Not that it matters anymore of course...but you know the first thing I thought of when entering those lands, it was you. Missing you. Desoto, Fel...I have never even met them and even Desmond has little time to deal with me. I do not blame you's but I didn't fit there, I don't fit in Helidos either though...I just wanted to help Rose to say sorry for leaving Quinn and letting her die. I don't know if I planned on staying I don't bloody know okay? Now she's dead too, I...She gave me a second chance and I let her die. I know it's not my fault, I didn't kill her blah blah blah but I shouldn't have let her die alone. I don't know what I planned on doing after that, maybe I had some stupid fantasy that things would work out. That somehow I could keep everyone I cared about but no, all anyone wants me to do is choose them over someone else. Well I'm sick of it! And don't think I don't know about loss, my whole family, my whole birth pack died before I found Helidos. I was young and foolish, Helidos wasn't sitting right with me so I tried to Agavos when it was first created. I wanted adventure, but I realized it wasn't the packs after all, it was me.."
He trailed off, slipping back onto his haunches and his forelegs shook in efforts to hold him even half up. His eyes flashed warningly as she went into his past and a small growl rumbled within him. "I used to blame my past as you put it but I'm realizing now that I'm happy for the way I was born. My parents had some sense, they denied the rules of the packs to follow their real senses. The senses wolves have been gifted with since the dawn of time. They followed the purest thing of all, their hearts. And this messed up system left it that they could not be together and eventually had to kill each other. So let me tell you what's pathetic, every pack here fighting over everything. I still care about all of these wolves, it's the pack system in general that everyone has grown used to following that upsets me. But you know, I know packs will stay but maybe there'd be more peace- less pain if one was removed, the shadow that falls over these lands. Teren..." It was then that an idea formed within his mind. He could die for a reason, he would probably fail but even trying would bring his mind some peace and show that Teren was not immortal. If he could even shake the demon's confidence slightly he'd be helping those he failed. An odd sense of peace washed over him even as Desmond's scent washed over him and the brute strolled up, aggression spiking from him. Twelve found himself retreating hastily into the waters, eyes slightly panicked. He couldn't die here, he needed to die fighting someone who deserved to be fought. He had to find Teren. He didn't want it to be Desmond. However Desmond's words caught him off guard and before he could do anything, a wave of darkness washed over him and he growled with a sudden bitter anger at his former alpha.
What the hell is wrong with you wolves? Are you's so shallow minded that you's can only concern yourselves about what is going on in your own little bubble? This whole world is crumbling, all I wanted to do was bloody help. Why must an attempt of doing good leave me here, tell me one thing Desmond that you can find 'evil' about my actions! I left to help another who needed it more, I wasn't 'betraying' you's for crying out loud, would you's stop whining over something as little as this and take a look around? Our petty little pack problems are so little in the grand scheme of things, I can see the ones with real problems laughing at us all. I left your pack to help someone, get bloody over it! I'm so sick of sitting back and hating myself because of this system set up making me believe that I'm not worth half as much as the one next to me. But now I finally realize that it is not me at all, I was born to two wolves who loved each other enough to defy the rules that others follow so blindly. I am proud to be born to them and I will die knowing that what I am doing is for the good of all that I care about, not just a set group. For I care about you Desmond and you Breeze but I care about others too...and of course you's are just following rules you's are so used to." He fell silent, the rant that had started off in angered snarls had fallen to be softly spoken, eyes sad and empty but clearer than they had been. He had a goal, he was going to fight Teren. "I know what I have to do." Was all he muttered as the breeze picked up and sliced through his thin, soaked body. Soon, it would be over.
"speech" | mind... | actions
| Death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit |
Desmond, Breeze. | 2,005 | Sorry for the wait! I got a bit carried away with this, it's quite long and maybe a little bit all over the place.
Posts : 247 Join date : 2015-04-19 Age : 28 Location : wherever I want to be
Wolf Information Gender: Female Age: 4 Purchases: Second Character (Thunder), Third Character
Subject: Re: They lurk within the Shadows [Breeze,Desmond] April 8th 2016, 12:51
Agavos
Delta
3 years old
tough
spirited
Lyrics or something about Breeze goes here.
NOTES: Oh my gosh this is so long. I'm so sorry! …I thought the move was at least sorta over...I was wrong. I did this on my phone. I'm not on my computer because I have no wifi here. Whew, so this is an accomplishment! xD In all seriousness though, thanks for bearing with me here. THANKS TO DESOTO FOR THE IMAGE ON THIS TABLE!!
She walks. "She talks." She thinks.
Twelve had stepped closer so that he was barely in the water anymore. The grey female looked at her emaciated former packmate with disappointment and disgust. She did not hate him, although perhaps it would be difficult to tell from her expression. Her eyes had hardened with anger and lack of trust for the brute, but that didn't mean she wouldn't try to help him. She would try and get him out of the state he was in. The Delta could see his pain and confusion. He was a mess, and yet she had no clue of how to fix him. Breeze was trying to help, to explain to him that he didn't have to feel responsible for all of this. It was clear he couldn't grasp that concept at the moment, but she would still try. Suddenly a spark of anger ignited in his amber orbs and sharp words were spat from his maw. A growl rumbled in the she-wolf's chest, but she let him finish what he had to say before replying. Then the brute had the audacity to assume she only cared about the wolves in Agavos. His assumptions stung like wasp stingers in her ears. The muscular fae let out a soft, cold snarl. It wasn't loud. It didn't need to be, since the outrage and even a hint of bitterness could be heard within the sound even at such a quiet level. Her words were not shrill, but icy and full of contempt and disgust. "How dare you! Never assume that I don't care for other wolves. I am not unemotional or uncaring. I did not judge you for being from Helidos. I never labeled you for which pack you came from. Good wolves are good wolves, it's as simple as that. You're the one that doesn't understand. There are pack wolves in each pack to support one another. I do not run over to Helidos to help them because packmates are supposed to be there for each other. These wolves you speak of had packmates who held them in high regard, if I'm not mistaken. I assume they are capable and willing to help such good wolves as the ones you speak of. I would hope that is why they joined. That is why I joined Agavos. I wanted to be there for the pack, I want to help. It's not that I don't want to help others, but rather I did not know that those in Helidos needed help." The Delta said. Her narrowed eyes remained locked on the pathetic fur-ball before her. "The well-being of those in Agavos is my primary concern. I put their safety above even my own. Even though Agavos is my priority, it is still a concern of mine to see other packs in distress, especially at the paws of that black demon. I do have some concern for that other new pack as well. I surprised Helidos hadn't sent anyone to inform us of the battle."
Breeze relaxed a bit and tilted her head. "If everyone rushed to save the same wolves, then we would all be fools. There are enough wolves to save the good wolves. Was not the whole pack of Helidos fighting for Quinn? Were her Guardians not trying to protect her with their lives? Think Twelve! If she could not be saved by her mate and her Guardians and her pack, then stop blaming yourself. Perhaps Rose is a different story, I know nothing about her, not how she died. I'm sorry to hear she is dead. There are wolves in every pack, and they all should look out for one another, and if they can, then also look out for others too. You can't save everyone. You chose to leave Helidos, and although you went back for a kind-hearted reason, it was too late to save Quinn...you have to pick your battles. Not just because of loyalties, but because you cannot save everyone." The fae explained, her eyes no longer holding rage, but rather sadness. He couldn't seem to understand this. The male wanted to run around and be the hero, but in the end he was never in the right place at the right time. Instead, he had missed nearly every chance to save those he cared about. The Delta listened, a bit surprised at his words. This brute cared for her? A bit of anger sparked at this confession, as well as pain. Why hasn't he ever shown it? The grey female pushed all thoughts of that away. It was obvious that the brute was going through a lot of pain. Loss could hurt more than any physical pain. When he was finished, she waited, unsure of what to say to him. "I do understand, and I'm sorry I can't help you. It just would have been better if you hadn't just left as you did...we were sure you were just a traitor. Actually, I thought you were dead for awhile." She said finally admitted, her voice sounding rather dull. The she-wolf shook her head. "You say you cared for Quinn, but you left her. You cared for me? Well I guess so cause you left Agavos too." Her words had turned bitter as she thought of how all those who had cared about her had died or left. This brute was no different. "As for fighting between packs, you exaggerate it all. The only packs fighting are Helidos and Erenyx...and let's hope it stays that way. If there was any pack that would start a fight, it's Erenyx. It's a risky thing to send your packmates to the battlefield, as I'm sure you know. I have seen fights fought over small strips of forest territory. That was foolish to say the least, but they realized that quickly." The fae said, one ear flicked back in disdain. She enjoyed the thrill of battle, sure, but fighting was folly without a valid reason worth the injuries she might sustain. The honor involved in a rank challenge was one thing, but fighting over a bit of land with few benefits was another. For the most part, the Delta would try diplomacy first, then fighting as her last option.
As her Alpha approached, Breeze would glance at him, unsurprised by his rage. She expression remained neutral and nearly unreadable as she turned back to look at Twelve. The muscular female shook her head sadly. "The world is not falling apart Twelve. It is your world that is falling apart. Helidos is still together, perhaps distraught and disorganized, but still together as far as I know. Yes, Erenyx is terrorizing the rest of the packs, but perhaps if the rest of us joined together, we could stop Teren." She said quietly. The way he spoke of Teren and so called doing what he had to do, a horrible thought formed in her mind. Would he try to kill the beast? He will fail! He can't! Yet somehow Breeze knew that if he wanted to fight Teren, there would be no way to convince him to step aside. A sad and slightly bitter smile formed on her lips as she listened to the end of his little rant. "I get that you meant only to do good by returning to help Helidos when they needed it. It's just a shame you weren't able to do much." She nodded to the skinny brute. "At least do yourself a favor and find a good way to make up for leaving. Perhaps you can't help Helidos as you want to, but I'm sure you can find a way to help otherwise."
Wolf Information Gender: Male Age: 5 Years Old Purchases: Large Wolf | Rogue
Subject: Re: They lurk within the Shadows [Breeze,Desmond] April 27th 2016, 07:11
the rogue king
I never expected to find myself here, but now that I am... I can't see myself being anywhere else.
"I will not allow you to speak to my Delta in such a manner. You were once a member of this pack, and you will treat her with the respect she deserves. As for what you think of us, of Agavos, you are a fool. I had met your 'precious' Quinn, and I saved her from being killed by Teren prior to the beginning of the war. I forced him to leave, having her feel as though she could return home. And she did, safely. But you know what I did not do? I did not turn tail on my pack, turn my back on them and basically say that I didn't care about them for the life of one wolf. And guess what? The bitch is dead. Your life has all been for nothing. You are nothing. Never in my life have I ever seen such an act by a wolf who 'claimed' to be loyal. So go ahead Twelve... run along to Erenyx and seek their King. Maybe finally you will get a little bit of the honor back that you have dis-guarded, not once but twice. Tell me how it feels to leave a pack, and then return to them, groveling. Tell me what good you think your pathetic life will have against a demon. He kills mercilessly, and cares little for your pathetic cries. So go, make a fool of yourself. Nobody will see you a martyr, nobody will even care that you take your last breath from beneath the jaws of the Erenyx sovereign." Desmond snarled and glared at Twelve. Right now, he had never found himself so angered by such a normal wolf. Nothing was wrong with him, nothing was mentally wrong with him... At least he hadn't thought that before. "Go!" he commanded to the traitor. He wasn't thinking about Breeze currently, about her feelings or what she was thinking of all this. He would speak to her about it after he was gone, apologize if he needed to, but for now, he just wanted to see the worthless wolf leave, and never return. If Helidos wasn't all it was cracked up to be, he would never allow Twelve to return to his lands.
with great responsibility comes a lot of bullshit...
template by revo. <3
Elite Breeze Member
Posts : 247 Join date : 2015-04-19 Age : 28 Location : wherever I want to be
Wolf Information Gender: Female Age: 4 Purchases: Second Character (Thunder), Third Character
Subject: Re: They lurk within the Shadows [Breeze,Desmond] May 26th 2016, 13:40
bump
Sponsored content
Subject: Re: They lurk within the Shadows [Breeze,Desmond]