As her jaws snapped around the delicate little neck of her prey, blood sprayed from the main vein and spattered the ground in delicious little droplets. Her muzzle was stained with red, covering her face as she tore through flesh to get to the hot muscle the fae so desired. The creature had stood no chance, torn into bits until it was beyond unrecognizable. Bones crunched between her teeth and the bleeding meat oozed down the sides of her chin, leaving stains as if she were bleeding from the mouth herself. The tender meat, the flesh, everything was exploding across her tastebuds and fueling her bloodlust until it would be satiated. This kill wasn’t under dutiful desires but of the twisted hunger Nyx craved. Her jaws snapped through the creature until it met the revolting taste of dirt, tinted with the blood of the animal she had destroyed. The meat traveled through her body like a warm stream and reached the pit of her stomach until the fae knew there was nothing left. She lifted her crimson-ridden head and kicked the carcass away carelessly, being picked completely clean from any and all meat. The fae looked at where the creature had died and admired the halo of blood that soaked and dripped from the blades of grass beneath her paws. Her head lowered once against to lap up the final remains of the delicious blood, taking everything and leaving nothing as she had been taught. Nyx could only wonder if that was how Kennedy died, starting out alive and being ripped to shreds within seconds. Or maybe it was slow and painful, her screams of torture never reaching the beta’s ears. Either way disgusted her to no end or bound, making her shake her head and stare at the blood staining her muzzle. Suddenly she wanted it off off off, and she rubbed her head into the dew of the spring grass until her fur was once again matching the previous season’s pale pallor. Nyx snarled and scratched the ground angrily with her claws until she was sure she had made deep grooves into the earthy ground, relieving her anger on the earth with nothing else around. With a low growl, she moved from the place of her destruction and padded silently to the border of her pack territory, replacing the scent that had grown faint until it was as powerful as the beta could bestow. She sniffed the air, waiting to see if any imbeciles showed themselves under their weak and shivering pelts. They’d only come for a place of shelter, but they would not be allowed to leave by her alpha’s command.

Nyx grinned manically and chuckled beneath her breath as she almost hoped someone would come along so that she could tear into them as if they were Kennedy’s murderer. Her the black line of her lips widened to reveal her yellow, bloodstained teeth in a snarl towards the border. Her patience grew thin and turned away from it with a shake of her snowy pelt, relieving some moisture that had gathered and weighed down her fur. Nyx grumbled at the slushed mud that suctioned her paws, angry that it would dare try to keep her there. Leaning back, the fae pushed off with the hard muscles of her back legs and bounded into the fresh grass to be rid the the disgusting slush. Her plan, originally, had been to head back to camp and curl up in her den once she was done with her rounds. The scent of others trailed along the path to camp, as fresh and new as the ground she treaded upon. Nyx groaned and immediately turned around and decided to go on a little adventure, maybe torture a rabbit or two. There were still places within her own pack that she had not visited, a little change would relax her especially since no one would the there to irritate her with their idiotic voices speaking of common things. Maybe she’d visit her alpha and alphess later to give them a full report of the lands simply to bother someone and give herself something to do. She didn’t like her alphess much and had only stayed because of her loyalty to Steele, the alpha. He had mentored her, hardened her, and molded her into the warrior he had wanted. Nyx knew he had pushed her beyond her limits in her training though she was just a measly pup then. Now she was the beta and looked the rank, her feminine bulk and hardened muscles proving worthy whenever she would lift her tail in dominance. It was something she demanded as she walked by, not caring what thoughts raced through the others’ heads any more than she cared about the bug she crushed with each step.

The alpha was the only one who had her respect anymore, and it went beyond her admiration of his ways. She was thankful to him and owed him for what he had done, even if some would see it as cruelty towards her. Anyone who dared say such would be missing their throat with it clamped between her jaws, becoming her next victim among many natural prey. A soft laugh bubbled up from her as she imagined the stunned expressions on their faces when they realized they couldn’t take their last breath. Nyx’s multicolored eyes gleamed at the thought, only to blink as she suddenly found herself in a thick patch of fog. Her teeth were revealed to the fog not that it would help much. Realizing she was acting stupid, the beta shut her mouth with a click and squinted to peer through the dense fog. Where she walked was rougher that where she was before but still grassy when she looked down, probably overgrown greenery from beneath rock. She continued to walk until the misty fog became dense to where she could see it no more than a centimeter in front of her own muzzle. Nyx was tempted to keep walking just to see what she would find but decided against it, instead kicking a rock into the space beyond her and watching the fog swirl like a whirlpool. She did not, however, hear the rock drop until an extremely distant echo reached her sensitive ears. This caused her to take a step back and simply sit on the ground, gazing out at the mistiness beyond her to wonder what could possibly be there. Her snowy, fluffy tail curled around her paws and sharp ears folded partially back as she relaxed. The world beyond interested her, and maybe if she sat long enough she would see it. Eyes of two different colors peers out into the abyss beyond. Her right orb was a deep, earthy rich brown while the other was a pale and icy blue. Two different sides to her perhaps, she would only be the one to know and no words would be spoken from her lips on such a matter. Fog around her caused her figure to look like that of a deathly ghost, as pale and luminescent as the moon. Nyx simply sat there, unmoving, and waited for something or anything to happen within that fog.

Sleepless nights had called the Alpha from his den. His mate as of late had been drawn farther and farther from Steele. He could not understand the reason. Even his pups were now a year's age and finding life on their own among the pack. The pups hardly found themselves resting within their parental den. Samael had began making one of his own, building it from the instructions of other members in the pack. It seemed his family had not needed him after all. The Alpha had felt like he was alone, as if there was no wolf he could go to. Surely no wolf could understand the happenings he was going through. There was one wolf though, one he could go to for anything. She had been his student, he her mentor. He cared for her more than most wolves in his pack as she ranked through the pack under his teaching, pride seemed to follow. If ever a member were to act out of line, he trusted her to handle them immediately. He was off in his own world, thinking of things that he could do better for the pack, for his home. He still loved Esmeralda, just as he did when they became mates. It was unfair to the him, to her even, that their love seemed to be dying. He knew not what he had done, if it were anything at all. She was distant and he was only trying to keep the feelings alive. The Alpha looked to the dens of the wolves, he could see some of them sleeping soundly, while others were deep in their dream lands. Steele looked to the den of the Beta, she was not there. It was rather curious that she would not be there. It were possible she too felt the effects of insomnia, the haunting feeling of never being able to sleep soundly through the night. Following her scent out of the camp, he was led to other regions within his land. His markings were thick in these parts, warding off the wandering evil wolves, and large predators which awoke from their seasonal slumber. Walking cautiously, he entered the region to be known as Devil's Edge. The cliff itself was known to be deadly, dangerous in ways one could never think of. The jagged rocks lie scattered beneath the fog. As the smoke colored mist rolled over the land, he could feel the humidity increase, but he never lost track of her scent. Taking silent steps towards her, he moved patiently and quietly, trying not to disturb her, had she found something of importance or thought about something of great weight. When her white form was finally in view, Steele stood behind her, not far from her tail. His silver hues looked over her form, analyzing how she had changed in their time apart. Something was new to the fae. Speaking in a soft and tender voice she often heard before, "what brings you here, Nyx?"

The fog covering the dark sky gave her a portal to another world, what seemed like the clouds opening up to show her what lay beyond their depths. A small group of stars met her eyes as she stared. Their sparkling brightness reflected in her eyes to be met with the dull effects hers had taken on the day she had found that creamy tuft of fur and remnants of blood. Nyx imagined the sky becoming lighter and forming what looked two be two navy blue eyes, identical to those that kept her from sleep and frequented her nightmares. That was all she had been having for the past few months, torturing her mind until they kept her up at all times during the night. Naps at small intervals each day kept her well, the daylight blocking away the deep blue eyes she was seeing now. She’d seen them in many expressions, mostly the terror before the light drew out of them and death overtook their depths. During that time, the fae had been in utter shock. Then anger set in soon afterwards, a craving for revenge so deep she wanted to spill enough blood to make up for her dear friend ten to twenty times over. The fae could not stop until she felt she had justice, those navy blue eyes haunting her everywhere she turned. She had wanted to speak to her alpha about such things, him being her mentor and advisor until she was fit to leave his trainings. Alas, she could not bring herself to do it. Anytime she had the idea to search him out, he was with his pups or his mate. In a word, the family was beautiful. Knowing Steele, she had seen his ill temper but did not around his loved ones. Bothering him with her issues was not a sign she had progressed, it was a sign of weakness and dependence. His trainings spoke nothing but that, so she submersed herself in being a machine-like beta as she knew her alpha had wanted all along. Nyx blinked, and the pair of eyes she saw in the sky were gone. The fog covering the stars once again and causing her to lower her head while looking outwards. It was a thin, misty veil that gave her vision to a cliff across from her. She wondered what it was like on that side of the world and figured she’d find out herself. There was nothing for her outside of her duties and the thought of exploring never really hurts, it’s the actual act of it that would give a dangerous thrill. Her tail wrapped around her front paws, the snowy fur blending in with the rest of her. A heavy sigh left her lungs until she had to take another breath, her heterochromatic eyes blinking with a haunted expression.

A tender voice threaded into her ears, deep but soft with familiarity. Her pale head turned to look at the dark figure of her Alpha. The slightest of smiles crossed the dark line of her mouth as she turned her body to face him. Nyx bowed low to the ground in respectful submission to him before she raised once again. Her pointed ears turned forwards in curiosity, the beta’s own voice taking on a respectfully soft tone. “I could ask you the same thing, Steele. Long time no see. To answer your question, I couldn’t sleep and haven’t been as of late. A lot has happened during your absence from others, but it was an absence that is understandable. How are the pups by the way? I’ve seen them wandering around camp, big and strong like their parents. Oh, and how is our dear Alphess? I have not seen her either, but I’m assuming you were keeping her rather busy.” Nyx gave a soft laugh and shifted her averagely sized paws beneath her, sitting straight with her new height coming to just below his ears. The fae look at his silver hues, her own multicolors dull but tender towards him as he was to her. She nearly forgot to ask, and the next question came out as almost and afterthought. “Most importantly, how is my former mentor? You should be in your den and sleeping peacefully so tell me. What brought you here?” Nyx lifted her paw and lowered her snout, rubbing an itch among the short snowy hairs. She set her paw down once she was finished and looked away from her alpha for a brief moment. The beta wondered if he had searched her out, or if he was simply wandering such as she. Nyx glanced sideways and took a look at the cliff on the other side of the foggy depths before her eyes turned back towards Steele, meeting his chromelike gaze.

Steele looked to the Beta, one of his most trusted wolves in the pack. There was another who once held the same feeling for him, but she was slipping away and there was nothing that he could do to stop her, no matter how hard he tried. Steele felt torn up about the situation, but it was his job as Alpha to keep his feelings deep within. If he was hurting the pack could not know. He was to be strong, a cold front, hard exterior, anger and dignity throughout him. If he was weak, then his pack would be weak. If he was hurting, the pack would hurt. Steele would not allow this to happen to Erenyx, as well as himself. So he would bury it deep, deep as he could hide it. His silver gaze looked to Nyx just as she had turned around to see him. As their eyes met, Steele felt a softness from her. It was a strange feeling, as he had mentored her, been beyond rough with her, trying to shape her into something great. No matter how she tried to hide it, Steele could sense something was not right with her. for now, he would not press the issue, allowing her questions to take priority. "It has been a while since we last spoke. But it has also been a long while since I have seen barely any members of the pack. I know this is not good, as an Alpha, but things have been... different." He paused for a moment, thinking of the perfect words to say what he was feeling. But speaking of Esmeralda was not easy, not for him, and not currently. It probably would never be easy. He took a deep breath, breaking eye contact with the fae, looking to the side. "Things have not been the same as of late. She is acting not herself, foreign, withdrawn, things of that nature. The pups barely see her anymore, nor do I. Trying to keep Samael in line by myself is not an easy task. The boy is too much like his father at that age." He tried to make himself smile, but the joy was not there. He was distraught and worried. "Truth is, I have not been able to sleep for many nights. Only tonight I decided to wander here, wishing to peer upon the water perhaps, or try and count how many stars I can see through the fog. Nothing too serious.. But I think that is enough speak of myself.. Why are you out here Nyx? Should not the perfect apprentice be harassing loners, or teaching others what I taught you? Or even sleeping in preparation for said things?" His eyes looked to her once more, staring into her own. Steele really did care for the fae, perhaps more than he even knew.

Nyx sat, a expressionless look on her face as she listened to her alpha’s problems. She had never been keen on the idea of Esmeralda, in fact she did not like the fae at all. Hearing of such behavior from her didn’t really surprise the beta. Her loyalties lay with Steele, and it only angered further to see him troubled when he was otherwise so fierce. She had not known this side of her alpha, but she did not dally on it to feel any kind of remote shock. Nyx’s face softened as she realized how hurt he was over this, and her words were tender. “Indeed, it has been quite a while. I’m sorry to see you like this, Steele. You love her a great deal, yeah? Don’t worry about the pups, I’ve been watching over them from a distance in your absence. Samael shows the most promise in my opinion, but they are all strong just like their parents. Potential prodigies and very admirable in my opinion. If they were in any danger, I would have taken care of it immediately.” She tried her best to reassure him, setting her emotions aside to encourage him to rekindle the feeling between him and the alphess. As their conversation slowly tilted in her direction, she shifted on her paws. The fae had never spoke of the heart of her rage, and she almost choked on her words before the came rushing out like a river run rampant. “I cannot sleep at all, Steele. Kennedy, a hunter of Erenyx, died months back. She was, in all honesty, the closest friend I could’ve possibly had. I found the scent of her blood at the place of her death though she was not there, a tuft of fur between a couple of rocks. I know she’s dead, her scent ended in the swamp of the beast. Ember, my sister, nearly died that way too. The point is, I wasn’t there to save her. I have nightmares of her eyes. They’re terrified until they widen in shock and the life slowly begins to drain from them completely. I wasn’t there and I should have been, and now I must make up for what I did. I work twice as hard and I keep the pack in line as best I can, but I do not sleep. Many I have met at the borders tried to be dominant over my rank, and if they step out of line once I will spill their blood. I hunt, but I tear the prey to shreds. I need to spill blood to replace Kennedy’s a hundred times over and make up for my absence in her time of need. I have not strayed from my duties, Steele, I swear. I just hate them all now, because they all look like her. They make me so furious, pathetic whelps.” She spat out the last word like it was a curse before regaining her composure. Nyx looked away in shame of her behavior, having not meant to say so much. Steele was the only one she trusted, the only one.

Taking a low bow of respect to her alpha, she muttered an apology. “I apologize, Steele. I did not mean to say so much for your troubles are far more important. Focus on rekindling things with Esmeralda, I’ll keep a watchful eye on the pack.” Her tone became more formal with each sentence and her eyes avoided him. Nyx focused on looking into the distance, trying to peer through the fog and its luminescence. She almost laughed at the humor, both mentor and apprentice so distraught but for completely different reasons. Though she knew she should probably leave in shame, she had missed Steele more than she thought. Her emotion for the alpha had confused her since the end of her training. Having no reason to be near him anymore had troubled her for a little time, but she was happy to watch him have a mate and a family all his own. As her caught her gaze, Nyx froze. She was on edge as to what he might do. Maybe he’d yell at her for being so weak, or maybe he’d simply dismiss her from his presence. He had showed her not to show weakness and taught her to be a wolf. She was not acting like that now, and she silently cursed herself. Not daring to look away, her body tensed and waited for his reaction.

Nyx had always been a great deal of concern for the Alpha. He did not wish to admit it, or show her in pleasure in knowing he cared for her, for it was true feelings were weak. He had allowed his walls to tremble and fall, allowing the fae to fill the void he released and stand by his side. In the event of their consummation, he loved her the most, not for the purpose of mating, but for he truly felt she loved him. But even in his deepest love for the Alphess, there was one fae who could slightly compare to her. Nyx. Steele looked to her, ignoring the words for he and Esmeralda to try and work past the hate and hurt, but he could not. His heart was broken, he could no longer love her, but how could he tell a member of his pack that he had broken his vows? How could he confess he would find warmth in another once she left? The laws of the forest were easy, don't cheat on your mate, keep one until they no longer breathe and above all, honor the pack by abiding the rules set forth. Erenyx was the rule breaking pack, but this was not easy for him. His heart longed to feel whole again. As his silver gaze stared over the Beta, he could feel something strange, it was different. But it was not love, but perhaps a rekindling feeling?

As she now spoke of her lost friend, Steele could feel for her. "Nyx, in life we gain and we lose. Not everything lasts forever. When I was a young wolf, my father was the Alpha of a pack. He led his pack the way any great leader would, leading hunts, allowing the pack to spar for ranks, and the like. On one hunt, my father have me the chance to lead, knowing full well I would be ready to be Alpha someday. As we attacked the doe, a buck watched and charged after us. The Beta, at the time was in charge of keeping him safe. He was supposed to give his life to keep my father alive. But the bastard did the opposite, he betrayed my father and the buck forced his antlers through the body, lifting and shaking him there was nothing we could do. I was not old enough or strong enough to duel the Beta and for that I was cast out. I found Azul and he accepted me as his beta. The reason I have the Guardian rank now, is forth sole purpose if and when my life or the Alphess is in danger, the Guardian will give their life, not the Beta... I could never..." he paused as he moved closer to her. He pressed his shoulder against hers, to the side, reaching his head over her shoulders, he nuzzled her back. His onyx nose brushed through her coat, sniffing her scent which was trapped within his memory forever now. As he nuzzled her, he moved to her side and pressed his ribs to her. Lifting his head, he gave a single lick to her ear. "But with loss comes hope, and I only hope that one day you no longer feel the effects of the past on your shoulders. As my apprentice, I tried my best to keep the slack of others from your ears. But I also taught you wrong. There are times we can go to others for help, but it is only in the ones we truly trust and rely on. You are the only wolf to see this side of your Alpha and I intend to keep it this way."

The burn of loss matched with guilt was nearly unbearable. She felt it as if it were a brand seared into chest to touch the very bone. It hurt with each beat of her lost, bleeding heart and she waited for something to remove the hot poker lodged within her chest. There were times when she wanted to ask for help but instead snapped a retort. Nyx wanted to ask for help but she never could ask for help and she wanted to now. Steele’s presence was icy cold water. It made the burn hurt a little less and the poker slid out a little more, no longer in fear of bringing flesh with it. Wise words from her previous mentor smoothed the ruffled feathers of her physique and she could almost forget why she had been standing at Satan’s Edge. Her unbalanced hues turned to look at the vast chasm of earth before her very paws and suddenly felt small. Nyx was simply an apprentice again and Kennedy was making her tag along on mischievous hunts, sometimes for more of an enjoyment than a serious act. She could almost pretend she was waiting for her close friend, having finished a training session with the what was now the only creature she trusted. Those thoughts could’ve claimed her with one step further, just a subtle shifting movement of her paw and any weight would have been lifted. But Nyx was a coward in that sense, and she liked the press of an invisible weight upon her shoulders if it meant she was of the living. She liked to push herself to the limit and feel her heart battering her chest in its internal punishment to her. The beta enjoyed watching others grow from the ground and not some higher source. Too selfish to suddenly mean nothing, was what she was. Such was her cowardice, or was it will? Staring into the depths, she shook her head. The movement couldn’t of been seen even in the slightest. Her contrasting orbs flickered back to their natural resting place upon the onyx brute, only to see them looking back. Steele was looking at her in a way that was different before, a way that was foreign to herself in all pretenses. The beta was taken aback but her skin was suddenly warm beneath her pelt, sure that its heat had turned her fur pink though she knew it to be physically impossible. Every butterfly in the world seemed to migrate and take residence between her ribs at a overwhelming rate. Her maw parted to ask why he was looking at her, to tell him he should look away but all them came was a dry puff of air. The soft sound of her exhale was enough for her to force her gaze from him and recollect her mind, though she could still feel his on her as if his slate orbs were touching her themselves.

Nyx’s feelings for her alpha were controlled and hidden carefully. As weak as she had thought them to grow, she could not just act as if she did not care. If she had, their conversation would have been different and she would’ve ended up showing all her cards on the table. She did not love Steele, as most would think. It was a bond that became a crush, a simply long lasting crush. The brute had taken her in at her weakest, spent actual time with her, and molded her into something strong. A bond such a that would have thick, deep roots that could not simply be taken away. She did not care for the aspect of love unless it were presented before her, steady and true in its motives.  The feeling she had kept carefully jailed away was being rekindled by the coal colored brute that could ignite such a flame. This is why, as she listened to his story, she could not help feeling a little more sympathetic than most would. She let a little more compassion for what he went through to show on her face where there would be none for others.

With his pause in his speech, she believed it was to catch his breath when she could not have been more wrong. Some carefully chosen words were formulating into sentences within her mind. Nyx did not realize he had come closer, did not notice until her shoulder was pressed to his. Her startled eyes widened slightly in their surprise and her words shattered in her mouth as she felt his nuzzling along her spine. Nyx opened her mouth in attempt to recover her words and instead their shard spilled out, falling to their demise on the ground in her state of pause. Each muscle within her took no time in tensing, the reasons for her alpha’s affections lost with the shards that had withered away. Only when he was finished could her mind clear and her voice could be heard. She spoke in a soft, shy manner for she was unsure of everything. “It is a sad story, what you went through. I hope you do not think harsh of me if I say that it gives me hope. You came from that to become the alpha you are, so hope I shall feel after hearing what you have to say. I know this will not get any easier, talking about her with others will not make it any easier either. So I will simply not speak her name, so that I am not reminded. The rank of Guardian was wise, though I had no clue it was to keep a beta from having to sacrifice their life. I pledged that I would do as such for this pack if it were needed, but it seems you have already prolonged my lifespan for me. I thank you for that.” Her smile to his last words were tentative and strained as she spoke them, utterly confused even as she nudged him with an attempt of being playful. “Everything takes time, I guess. It’ll all go away as you say it will. This side of you is different, Steele, but not foreign. I can catch glimpses of it when you look with pride at your pups or when you looked at the alphess. You need not share it with me.” She would not admit that knowing this side of him made her want for him to make it stay, to make it never leave so she didn’t have to try and provoke it out of him with nice banter. To see such a way with herself would be offering her too much. It would be a gateway for feelings to blossom that she figured would not be returned. She would not allow herself to be a fool over a brute, for he had taught her to be better than that. But, she wondered, did he teach her better than to play the fool for having feelings for him?

And she did not return his consideration for her. Pleasant. What a fool he was. Steele had tried to reach out to her, to get a grip on himself. But Nyx had done just what he truly needed. He moved himself from her side, wandering closer to the edge. His eyes peered over the cliff, looking down to the rocks and water below. The fog was thickening, but he could still slightly see the rolling of the waves, the crash of water against the peak. So foolish, he was. No wolf would ever love the Alpha. He had evil etched all throughout his being. He was dark and sinister, a monster on his own lands. His large frame and color-less eyes made him seem even more the creature from the deep. Perhaps in this life, he was meant to walk the lonely road, to embrace the solitude of having loved and lost. For once in his life he had allowed his form to break down, to love and in return he was given a sense of fleas. The tiny creatures spread through him like a wild fire, forcing agitation and aggression to amplify behind their tiny bites. His heart hurt, his mind numb. Perhaps he was blinded by their close relationship with one another? Nyx had been his apprentice since before their time in Erenyx. He had trained her, defended her from another wolf who sought to cause her harm. In these moments he was vulnerable. In these moments he was weak. Staring to the water, he snarled, pain and anger mixed within his being, blending and releasing itself to the world.

"Everything happens for a reason Beta, and perhaps my life is meant to be this way... I shall bother you no more with such things." As he spoke, he never looked to her. He turned his body back towards the pack, and headed for the lands he called home. As he walked past her, he waited a few feet behind, only for a moment, wondering if she would follow him, or stay where she stood. The choice was hers. But whatever she chose, Steele could hardly care. Her rejection had caused the brute to return to his regal self, hate and aggression in full gear. No wolf would feel pity for his mate leaving him. No wolf would speak kind words to him, for his only mate deserting their pack. From now on, Steele would lead the life he was supposed to, to teach his boy the meaning of what it was to be a leader, an Alpha. Perhaps mindless breeding would have to suffice, to power his pack through the coming years. He would find the strongest females, give them his litters, and watch as his empire grew rapid and devastatingly powerful.

Too many things happened all at once, her brain overwhelmed until she focused ourely on the fact that he was gone from her. Just like that, and she did not understand it. Whatever had just happened, she couldn’t help but feel it was her fault. She was being the creature she had been trained to be, tons upon tons of hard work implanted deep into her mind that all she could do was be like a machine. Nyx didn’t understand what had just happened, nor why the one wolf she had ever trusted left her so quickly. She listened to his harsh words and flinched as he walked away, but did the only thing she knew how to do without flaw. The beta followed her alpha. Nyx always had followed him, as he had been her mentor and the one creature she looked up to. So she followed him, catching up and walking by his side for she didn’t know what else to do or what else could be done. She didn’t know, she simply knew she felt vulnerable suddenly and she didn’t like it. He had trained her not to be in such a way, and she was being so pathetic. Her paws padded at his side as she stared at the ground and thought. Those of her average size compared to his larger ones. Nyx wanted nothing more than to comfort him, unaware that she was the very reason he was angry. Her heart hurt like a wounded creature within her chest, limping and bleeding. It would soak her pure pelt with crimson and drip from her into a pool that would surely mean her death. This brute was her only friend, her only reason to really have a purpose. He’d made her what she was and given her this strength, but he had also become her weakness. A terrible weakness that he himself probably wasn’t aware of. The beta choke on her ghostly blood, the pain spreading through her lungs as she watched his face turn from the wolf she knew into one she did not. This was the face of a stranger, one that was not open to her when she so desperately wanted her alpha to come back.

In such a short span of moments it seemed liked he had hated her, and for what reason she knew not. All she knew was that this caused her pain and anger, both making her want to tear apart anything in sight even if that meant one of her own. She hated that look upon his face, despised it more than anything she had ever hated before in her life. Though she felt painfully enraged, her voice was still soft when she spoke to him. “I do not know what just happened, Steele. I do not know why you look as if you hate me right now. What I do know is that you aren’t going to get me to go away. I’m not leaving that easily. You can tell me you hate me or yell at me for whatever reason that may be. But I guess I said something wrong, I guess you took my timidness of replicating your affection as something else. I don’t know Steele, I told you I’ve been hurting and I have not allowed anyone to touch me. I wasn’t expecting you to do so and I would have returned it. So you can tell me whatever you want, or even tear me apart right here and right now. I wouldn’t care, because I’d be dying at your hand. I’d die for you, Steele, and not because you were my mentor or because you are my alpha. I care for you, but it seems that all I can do is anger you. You’re all I’ve got, and I will not lose you.” She sighed, still speaking tenderly to him in her care for him. “I was trying to give you space, I didn’t think you’d want a comfort from a female after one having left you so harshly. So I guess I’ll just follow you, just watch over you and support whatever you decide to do from afar. That’s all I’ve ever done, all I’ve ever done purely for you.I don't even know why I'm talking anymore but I just am, though you probably aren't listening at all.” Nyx gave a utter sigh, having spoken her mind and internally worked on handling the pain. Apparently the numbness would not end soon, but she was genuine in her words. The beta did not look at the alpha then, she did not want to see hatred once more for fear of the pain.

Soon his paw steps were joined by the sound of others to his side. His heart fluttered and fell into a fit of confusion, forcing his mind to shut off all thoughts of love or loss. Nyx had showed him the truest form of loyalty, one he could only see as his very own training. She was a beautiful demon, a small fae formed into into a menacing ball of hatred, yet he cared for her greatly. She had taken his training and liked by it as if she was going to die if she did not listen or obey. Steele turned his head to stare upon her once more. She did not look at him. But was it for her attempt at trying to hide her feelings? Or was it for fear he would act upon her? Confusion once again set in, forcing him to listen to her words and take it all in. He knew not what she wanted, but she cared for him, perhaps more than he cared for her. Inside he knew he would always love Esme, she was the mother of his pup, the last one remaining within his pack. But could he learn to love another wolf? Trust another female in the same way? He looked over Nyx, wishing to comfort her, but unsure that she would accept it, he stood in his place. Having heard enough, he bit back the anger within his throat and turned to face her, standing in front of her. "Nyx, I know you are hurting and I am too. Death I can handle, killing I can understand, but this is the first time I have ever felt deserted. I am going through this whole thing blind. I do not feel strong, I do not feel like the same wolf. That is not to say I need Esmeralda to survive, that is not true in the slightest.. But this is something I have never been faced with. I'm at a loss for words and even actions. I would only wish this on my absolute worst enemy, for this is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I'm at a complete loss. And from the beginning, I have cared for you. I still care for you. From the first time I saw you, I knew I would always be attached to you in some way. When War wanted to give you slack for being an Apprentice, I had to show it a thing or to about respect. Since that point, I promised I would always protect you. But I failed you, as an Alpha. I could not protect you from the loss of your friend. I could not even reach out to you properly, too tangled in my own issues I did not focus on the ones of my pack, of my most trusted member." The Alpha looked to his Beta, curious to what she was thinking. "Nyx, I care about you, but I don't know what I can do for you. My heart is mangled and not ready to accept the love of another or to reciprocate. At this time.. I cannot, but if you give me time... I can try and allow my wounds to heal, though I will admit I need some assistance. I am only a brute, a simple wolf standing before you, asking if you truly care for me, to help me."

With her walking halted, she had no choice but to face her alpha. The beta’s ears folded back and her eyes remained their steady focus upon the ground. She waited to be stabbed with the sword that she had offered, waited for her trust to stab her in her eyes as she gazed upon it. Her tail hung as a dead thing behind her, just as tempted as she was to curl in on herself in submission. Nyx quietly scraped her claws against the ground, watching the slight grooves being created in the fresh soil. Only when he began talking did she listen, standing as if ice had claimed her body and in some ways it had. He was saying what she wanted to hear, venting to her as she had wished him to do so. The beta did not speak, she did not have to. Seeing that they would not be moving any further, she sat and tucked her tail around her paws as she listened quietly. Everything he said, she could understand. His mention of lost made her composure break slightly, a small frown upon her face until it was gone again and she was listening further. She waited until his mantra was done to turn her eyes up to his. Her multicolored hues were veiled by their lids, her head nodding slightly until the lump in her throat had cleared once again. “I do truly care for you, and I will help you. If you’d needed anything, ever, you knew you could speak to me. I know I haven’t been present lately, but that will change and I will help. Titles aside, I’m speaking to you as a simply fae. Yes, I do care for you and yes, I will help you. The pack cannot stand with a hurting alpha, so I guess I will have to be around to support it more than I am. I’ll help you and I’ll help keep the pack standing, my own hurting aside. I an grieve on my own time, now I should not be. But, one thing I refuse to do is call you ‘master’ or ‘lord’ as I do help you. Your training makes me strongly against such things unless you will it so. Whether or not I’m putting my efforts into something for it to turn out painful for me or not, I cannot refuse to help you. I will just have one question, and you cannot answer it now. I’ll help you and, in time, I will want an answer.” Her eyes did not draw from his, completely honest and true in their words. Only when she was sure he knew she was sincere did she look away, shifting her paws to release some of the tension in her shoulders as she spoke again. “If a male, not you, came and asked for permission to be my mate, what would you do? You cannot answer this now and do not talk about it until you can tell me with completely sure words. Because, Steele, if my help proves fruitless for myself I will be heartbroken as first, incredibly painfully so. But as you said, time heals things, so think long and hard about that question and when the time comes, answer it.”