He had not been in the pack's main grounds for a long time. It seemed like the weeks drifted by like nothing. A month and a half he had traveled these woods alone. Although he was finally accepted by Helidos, joining it's ranks and successfully and becoming a caretaker, he still felt unhappy. It just seemed like no matter where or what he did, he was alone. So far, he'd made no friends, though that was partially his fault, as he came to these secluded woods far too often.

He looked up at the overcast sky as gentle snowflakes fell, slipping through the canopy of bare branches, making the journey that would lead to a dead end. His thick legs began to contract, as he moved forward slowly in the thin snow. A cloud of icy mist was exhaled every couple seconds, as the temperature was suddenly dropping to dangerous lows. His pants grew louder, as the air grew thinner. He was becoming tired now, very tired. A minor blood trail was tracing his steps, originating from the massive cracks on his paws. The forest was oddly silent, as if hiding from something. Possibly him.

The wolf still trudged on, though having no purpose to move forward anymore, his mind sent into a spiraling depression. Even with his coat, the temperate was bone chilling by now. He knew if he did not get somewhere warm quickly, it could spell trouble. But his pace had already slowed, his joints frozen and paws numb. There was an uprooted tree nearby, only about 10 yards away, if only he made it there... he could rest.. just close his eyes for a moment...

That was already out of the question. Fenris could feel himself already Slipping away. Black rimmed his eyesight, he could barely take a step, he was completely numb. How foolish of him, to stay out here alone. Even if he did not realize this yet, maybe... he wanted this. To simply fade right here. No one would notice.

After only moving ten feet, finally his body gave out, and he collapsed into the light snow. He was still conscious, but just barely. He watched the snowflakes coat his nose... as they slowly covered the rest of his body in a white blanket. If only that kept him warm...

A bitter snowstorm had sprung up amidst her training. Even in her thick winter coat the Elite felt the chill. This was going to be a particularly difficult day. For now, her physical conditioning was forced to halt as she searched for shelter until the storm passed. A whiff do air and flicker of ears told her the worst was yet to come and the closer she could get to the dens in the main clearing, the better off she would be. So her head turned against the wind, ear flattening to her cranium. She tucked her muzzle against her chest and set off walking.

On her way home the wind sprung up. Overhead the relentless grey of overcast sky released more snow onto her back. Since she continued to move it did not weigh her down so much, but it was bothersome. She hadn't travelled even halfway when she came across a fallen hollow tree. Upon her approach she saw two figures also heading for the little shelter it provided. But something was wrong. One of the wolves was aiding the other. Someone was injured or unconscious. Spurred on with the need to help, Nnlya bounded through tall drifts of snow to reach the pair and offer her help. But by the time she had reached them, they were already settled inside. The wind sprung up once more, bristling her fur in the wrong direction, making things quite uncomfortable. She would have to bunker down with them.

Sniffing about the entrance to the hollow, she finally got to see who was inside. "Jackle? What happened to Fenris? Is he injured?" She waited for his response, allowing him to speak. When he was done, she nodded and settled herself down at the mouth of the hollow. As Elite, it was her sworn duty to protect the members of her pack. The unconscious Fenris needed warming, and with her body shielding the males from the cold outside, he would have a better chance of increasing his body temperature. As she lowered her body, she said, "It's quite dangerous out there. We'll need to hold our position here until it calms and he's well enough to move." The fae was careful not to disturb the pile of snow clearly constructed by the healer, she was sure it would serve some purpose. With her body as a shield to her packmates, Nnlya lowered her head between her paws, watching the caretaker carefully. She still had this feeling she knew him from somewhere, but she couldn't be entirely sure.

(Hey there! Thought I'd chuck Nnlya in here. Hope that's ok. I thought maybe if Fenris woke you might want to make a go of our little plot we discussed a while back. And it would also be an interesting way for Jackle to learn a bit about Nnlya's past.)

(yes Nnyla, its fine ^^, I will post later : Busy)

Fenris stirred, warmth seeping into his bones from the wolves that he did not yet know were there. Slowly his eyes opened, painful because they had crusted stiff with ice. Snow still blanketed his coat, but when he sat up, it began to roll off. He grumbled, as he couldn't see much as of yet, he was dizzy and confused. He could tell he was enclosed in something. His eyes began to clear, though still too fuzzy to identify the face of the wolf at his side. Fenris tried to move away, but his frozen joints only wiggled in their numbness, and he buzzed as if in a seizure.
"Who are you!"
He barked, although it was nearly impossible to understand. That was when he noticed another wolf, through scent, though it was faint to him. Slowly his senses were coming back. He released strange grunts, as he tried to get away by way of shuffling. He didn't know where he was or who was around him.
All he remembered was trying to get to the hollow. It was cold, did he pass out? Who found him? Hopefully someone from his pack, or he could be in deep trouble. Anyway his packs would scold him for walking alone in such temperatures. Once his vision returned he could have this all sorted out, but until then, he would try to get away from this mystery creature. They must mean to help, he felt warmer... but he was in so much pain. Hid joints, felt as if they were gone, ripped out, along with his ears, and nose, paws. The first jerks of pain came after the numbness began to fade. He was whimpering loudly, suddenly.
"Please stop it..."
He whined, like a pup. How embarrassing this was...

The wind blew the furs on her right side back in the wrong direction. It was chilling her something fierce, but she held her position. Her own chill was nothing compared to the way the cold was affecting the caretaker. So she huddled closer to keep her friends warm. Jackle, the professional healer he was, began giving her instructions to warm the sickly male whilst he went and got some herbs that might help. She nodded accepting his superiority in knowledge at this point. The Elite allowed him to pass and exit the hollowed tree. She considered calling out to him to bring some meat for Fenris as well, but realised the wind would snatch at her voice and he would never hear it. Better to save her breath. Slowly, the charcoal fae crawled in to nestle herself beside the caretaker.

His breathing quickened as her body heat warmed him, helping him come too. Something was terribly wrong though. He was whimpering and barking, his movements awkward and imperfect. Doing her best in the cramped space, she pinned the male to the ground, nuzzling at his cheek comfortingly. "Fenris, calm yourself. It is I, Nnlya. The one who accepted you into these lands. You are safe for now, just rest and Jackle will return soon enough with something to help." He seemed to calm some as she spoke, allowing her to concentrate her gaze on the storm outside. Her eyes searched for the white male. Instead another form appeared. One she was accustomed to seeing. The tall frame of Drogo appeared out there, as always with those eyes accusing her. You killed me. But the apparition was shattered as another form burst through where it stood.

Jackle had returned, his jaws clenched around all kinds of plants she had spotted about the forest. She nodded to his question, still slightly in shock from the apparition. They always spooked her. As the male administered the herbs, the fae moved herself off Fenris and snuggled herself at his side, to ensure his warmth. The wind outside blasted her face through the gap between the lot and the Healers body, but she made no mention of it. Fenris' life was important for now, it was his health at stake. When the Healers work seemed to be over for the moment, she shared a smile with him. If they could last the night, he would survive. He would be fine. She reached up slightly and pressed her nose into the shoulder of the snowy male. He had done well, and she was glad for that. She could think of no better time to ask, so her gaze turned to the russet male. "Fenris, have we met before?" If he was the male she thought he was, he would understand the meaning of her query.

(Ooc - just so you all know, I'm playing this as before Drogo's return)

His eyes sight and hearing began to return to him, after he allowed herbs to be popped into his mouth. The muffled voices and blurry faces became clearer. He could see a wolf, though one he did not know, working on him, possible with herbs but he could not yet tell. Another wolf had placed itself beside him, speaking words he could not understand, until one phrase that  came after the other was done working on him, and soothing him with a deep tone. It was a voice he remembered, and he looked up at the face it came from."Fenris, have we met before?" That voice. It was Nnyla. He did remember her from when she accepted him into the lands. But it sounded like she was talking about another time...

What ever the wolf did before was working. His pain was beginning to end, his hearing now nearly normal, and his eyesight to the point where he could distinguish faces.
His eyes locked onto the female's as he placed his head on her paws to gaze at her. "Nnyla.. hello."He murmured, grinning in the faintest. She was really the only wolf he knew, and her company was important to him. Also... he knew her, from somewhere else... Before he came to Helidos, for sure. She thought the same. They must have met before. In deep thought, his ears folded back. He was trying to remember, it was when he was on his travels for a mate... maybe. No, yes, he did remember her face. He looked at it closely, squinting his eyes. "Yes. I remember you." He finally replied. "Before I came here. Maybe when I was looking for... a mate. I'm not sure." The end made him feel a bit awkward, he failed at wooing, obviously, or he wouldn't be here.

Blinking, he tried to right himself, but failed horribly, falling back on to the female's paws with a thump. "Sorry." He grumbled, just staying still. It was nice, just sitting with her anyway. She was keeping him warm, not to mention he was interested in what they would learn from each other about their previous meetings.

(who is Drogo? owo)

(Ooc - Drogo is Warrior Drogo, recently returned and hopefully soon to be Nnlya's mate.)

Nnlya watched as the Healer took his leave into the calming blizzard. She thought it unwise of him to walk headlong into a storm, but she did not have it in her to make him stay. Instead she offered a small smile to his farewell and watched him disappear into the sheet of white that dominated the outside world. Her friend seemed very preoccupied with thoughts of his own, he needed his space. The female shuffled closer to Fenris, keeping their bodies warm by bouncing the heat between them. She watched him to ensure to adverse side-effects of the herbal remedies. He seemed comfortable with her, something that made her extremely happy, for she strove to have all those she met be at ease around her. She wanted to be the ears to listen and the heart to love.

She allowed him to nestle himself against her paws, almost pup-like. She supposed it suited his character. He was a Caretaker after all. He worked with pups, it was necessary to be a little more gentle. She snuffled around, moving things with her muzzle and digging it just slightly under his warm body. When the wet appendage had warmed some, she was able to remove it and speak to him. "Indeed, I am certain we have met long before. Before even I was in Helidos. That was a very dark time for me." She closed her eyes to the world for a moment, allowing the dark area of her memories, the repressed weeks of depression, to disentangle themselves and rise to the surface. She knew she had heard the name Fenris before. She was certain it was the same one.

"Did you meet me? On the plains many leagues south of here in the end of the hot, dry summer? Was it you who advised me to seek a pack?" It was flooding back into her brain. The memory of a kindly male, just fresh from his own pack, offering to help the underfed female. Back then, it had only been days, barely a week since the encounter with the brutish Elite. She had been quite a sight then. Blood-matted fur, skinny and underfed, blue eyes without their sparkle. But one wolf had shown her kindness, offered to help, talked her out of the rut she was in. It had taken another couple weeks, but eventually she had seen the wisdom in his words. And it was his urging that lead her to Helidos.

(I am so sorry that I took so long to post T>T I went on vacation. I left an EFA, but still I apologize deeply for the wait.)

Fenris swiveled his ears, and cocked his head, although it was in Nnyla's paws. He looked up, exposing his neck, to meet the eyes of Jackle. "Thank you, friend." He called to the wolf kindly, and watched him leave into the blizzard. Fenris thought it unusual to march into a storm like this, as he only a short time ago was incapacitated by it, but it was not his decision to make.

Fenris drank the warmth provided by Nnyla, and he flipped on to him stomach to  lay beside her more comfortably. He missed the nights when he would lay in the cold like this with his former pack. He hasn't had the chance for a cuddle since that time. He had been a drifter, looking for compainionship almost his whole life, and he failed horribly at it. He smiled at the thought, finding it comical his life long dream was always thwarted. It was like a tragedy.

With the female answer, he twisted his head in question, "Yes, I might have been that male. I remember quite the shabby woman approach me... not to be rude. I remember thinking I should follow the same path as that female, but... I didn't, to my misfortune. I've been a lonely soul since." He looked away a moment, remembering that sad meeting that could have changed his fate. If only he wasn't a hypocrite. Collecting himself, he looked back at the wolf, and searched her features. He was sure this was the same female. Although, not... bloody and shabby anymore, she still held the same striking and longing gaze. Fenris grinned to break some of the tension he felt. "Yes.. been a long time since I've seen you. How did you fair afterwards? Is that when you found Helidos?" Fenris wanted to know more about the female. She was really the only aquaintance he had, and he did not yet know many other pack members. She had both helped him now, and accepted him into the lands. Mentally he thanked her, but did not yet say another word until she replied.

Nnlya's muzzle dropped to try and curl under her armpit for warmth. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but it worked well enough. And as he spoke, she laughed aloud. "Oh, goodness no I take no offence. I did not look my best at that point. I hadn't eaten in almost two weeks,and even before then I had been scrounging meagre meals for a few months." Still he pushed on with more to say. She nuzzled herself against his side, wriggling her muzzle into his neck for comfort. "You are not alone anymore, Fenris," she said in a low voice. "You have the pack now, and the pack cares for it's own. And you have me. I won't ever harm you or turn you away - not without good reason."

She shuffled her charcoal body closer to his as he asked her of what had become of her after their small amount of time together. "Well, after you helped me, after you told me I should seek a pack, I did just that. I cleaned myself up, put on some weight and came right along to Helidos. I made it right before the first snow of winter. It's been more than a year since then. In that time I've made some friends, had some disagreements, earned my rank. Loved... And lost." She grew silent at the thought of Drogo. Her voice was low and soft when next it was heard. "I thank the fates every day that I met you. You were so good to me, even though I never told you what had made me so scared and so pitiful. You were a real turning point for me. Your positivity and bright outlook inspired me. If it hadn't been for you, I would be over there in Erenyx at this very moment." Her voice became a soft whisper as she butted her head softly against his shoulder. "Thank you." She sucked in a breath and sniffles, raising her voice perhaps a little too loudly. "But enough about me, what about you?"

Fenris curled his cracking paws closer to himself, stuffing the pads under his weight, to keep them warmer. He became increasingly depressed as Nnyla went, on, about how she prospered from his advice. He had only fallen deeper, after that time. "If only my bright outlook had helped me somehow." He grumbled, averting his eyes to stare harshly at the snow that dappled the ground. "I was so arrogant at that time, so unwise. It was only by luck that you heard the wise set of words I said." Fenris became angry, not directed at Nnyla, but himself. He turned his head to her, and looked at her seriously in the eyes, "I wish I had followed you that day. I almost did. I almost asked. But I was too foolish and young, I wanted to be my own. After our meeting, it pretty much went downhill."

Fenris paused, taking a few breaths, and furrowed his brow before continuing. "From there, I was alone for a long time. I roamed from one pack to the next, trying to find... someone special. The rest of my family was successful, except me, the clown. I remember one wolf that I met, that I wish.. I wish she came with me, but a male, I presume her father," He chuckled, "Saw me trying to swoon his daughter. that didn't end well." He scoffed, and pointed to a scar he had obtained from that event. "My life is really only beginning, Nnyla. The prologue was in my birth pack. I was quite happy there, but I left, due to my bull headedness. Chapter one begins here..." Fenris trailed off, losing eye contact again, staring low at his chest. His eyes closed, as he thought about all the times he was turned away. Again and again. he was beginning to believe something was wrong with him. "I was turned away so many times, Nnyla... thank you, for accepting me." He glanced up at her, a genuine expression using his face. Funny, it was a pretty small world wasn't it.

Nnlya grew slightly alarmed as his voice became increasingly harsh and angry. He turned his big head to look her quite directly in the eyes and spoke seriously. Then why didn't you follow me? She wanted to ask. Still, he had yet to answer her question and allowed him to continue. This side of Fenris was completely foreign to her. So down and brooding. it was so contrary. She had known him to be bright and happy, an intellectual with logical arguments. A source of comfort after a terrible ordeal. His form simply exuded an aura of warmth, even the browns and creams of his fur seemed welcoming. And his eyes. Their amber was not like the fire of Drogo's, swimming with the light of a warrior, a fiery determination. Fenris' eye seemed more like a sweet honey, offering even just a moment of bliss that would carry one through the tough times.

She was saddened to hear that he too had loved and lost. But it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. She sniffed at the scar he indicated, scenting that it was not exceedingly old, but not freshly healed either. There was no trace of the assailant on the mark, only Fenris' woody scent. Nnlya tossed her head lightly over his shoulders, pinning her ears back. "It seems we did each other a favour then." A gentle sigh slipped from between her parted jaws. "It is better to know love's keen sting than to never know what it is to love someone." She lifted her head off his shoulders and looked him in the eye. "But Fenris, why didn't you come with me? You seemed so convinced that joining a pack was the greatest thing. And I wouldn't have minded the company." It was sad for her to remember how they had parted ways. She was taking his advice and heading North East, but she never could fathom why he chose to stay behind.

Fenris sighed, turning his head to face her, but kept his eyes away from her face, as if he was afraid to look into her eyes. He knew why he didn't go with her. He was foolish, young, and to independent at the time to realized what his priorities should have been. "I should have gone with you. If only I had... I didn't go, because I was stupid. I was... afraid. My family had a tradition, that followed an older wolf culture. Rather than staying in the pack, like younglings do here, the males, and males only, were forced out as loners, that would roam other territories in search of a mate. If you aren't successful after 6 months, the rule is that we would have to return home..." He paused, taking a deep breath, and shuddering at his still existent fear, "... and when we did, it was dubbed that the wolf was unworthy of the pack, and was killed... Other than this one flaw, my home was perfect. But it was that one flaw that ruined my life. After 6 months, I was weak, I couldn't even honor my family and go home, and I continued looking, really for anyone that would take me. It was a long time after that, that I found Helidos. The rest rejected me, or attacked me, or picked on me... That is why I am so grateful to you. You were the only one who showed compassion to me.... Anyway, I didn't go with you because of that retched tradition, along with my ignorance to the rest of the world."

His eyes were wide as the memories flooded back to him. Fenris turned away, his face burning hot despite the chilling cold. He wanted to leave, he felt ashamed that his family was that way, and he felt judged and zealous and insane, for not going home. Fenris knew Nnyla could never understand why he would want to go home to die, but he wished he had, it would have saved him the months of depression he'd gone through on his own, as well as the pain of starving and loneliness.

He looked out at the blowing storm, and held his harden gaze on the swift snowflakes. He thought of the cold and how nice it felt that he would finally just wither away here in Helidos, he almost did, if it were not for Nnyla and Jackle. Finally, the male grunted, still staring into the wind, "I don't know why I haven't tried to kill myself before today."

(wow I feel like this would make a person concerned that I am depressed in RL DX So I'm just going to say this character does not reflect me at all, cause I am quite happy with my life and have never even considered suicide. O.o)

The Caretaker tried so very hard to avoid her azure gaze. She simply tilted her head as best she could and tried to watch his eyes for emotion. He seemed to truly regret not following her to these lands. Not that it mattered now. He was here and alive, though she suspected less than an hour previous he had not intended it that way. But she held her silence, wanting to hear his explanation. His home pack sounded similar to hers, as she recalled. Although males were never forced out. It was highly recommended if they did not already hold a high rank, but not a common tradition. Had she remained, she would have definitely stayed, but one or two of her brothers might have set out on their own. With her disappearance and Onyx's death, it would have turned to her other brothers to choose to claim the title. Though even if he had survived the avalanche, Onyx would never have taken the title. He never wanted the power, he only wanted to hunt. She had often discussed with him the possibility of him being her Beta, but he always refused. He enjoyed his craft and would not falter in his choice. Under her reign he would have made a wonderful Lead Hunter. She could never allow him to dwindle within a pool of others, the forgotten son of the Alpha. He deserved respect for his dedication.

She watched him hate on the traditions of his home pack. To her it seemed so disrespectful to his parents and his previous Alpha, but at the same time, she wanted to commend him for his ability to think freely. But he refused to look at her, he looked so ashamed of himself. She was so close to speaking out and breaking the silence when the grunt left his mouth. The words it formed shocked her. "Don't you ever say that! Never. You were not weak for not returning, you were intelligent. All those other males from your pack would have blindly followed tradition and returned unsuccessful, willingly walking to their deaths. But you did not. You chose a different path. You chose to live and no one can take that away from you. You might not see it, but you have something I have rarely seen in any other wolf. You have the spirit of life in you. You were raised, taught from birth that if you failed in this one thing, then you would die. No ifs, ands or buts. And yet, you challenged that belief. You see it as weakness, I see it as the makings of an intelligent mind."

She stretched her neck a moment, before returning it to its lofty post, hard blue eyes piercing his brown fur. "There is a reason you were made a Caretaker at our borders. Do you truly understand what role you hold? You are the educator of our young. You will teach them some of their very first lessons of life, you will be their guide through their childhood. You will give them advice and suggest which craft they might be best suited to for apprenticeship. You will teach them our history and lore and inspire in them the spark of knowledge. You are an inquisitive individual who wants to know more and you want to share your knowledge with others. There is so much more to you than what you think and I won't let you end your life because you can't see that." She exhaled sharply through her moist nostrils, getting rather worked up. She couldn't bear to see someone so wonderful be so downtrodden.